Flower watering aka recognizing good qualities, skills and gifts of myself!

Couple weeks ago, I was getting ready to go to a wedding in Julian. To tell the truth, I didn't feel like going and drive all the way there and back. But I had to, because it was work.
While I was driving, I was listening to K-Love radio station. I usually listen to it while driving, because it's positive encouraging radio and the songs are nice and remind me of my teenage years, being very active in my church community myself, singing and building community of young people.

But I didn't feel like listening to it, neither any songs on the DVD, so I turned it off. Which I am so grateful for. Because, while I was driving through beautiful landscape, I've realized, that I'm so blessed to be able to drive. And I can actually drive. Not everyone in the world can. And as I've been practicing with my current community Beginning Anew (BA) practice (if you are interested more in the process, check out this link: https://plumvillage.org/mindfulness-practice/beginning-anew/ ).
I've been practicing this for over 4 years, but I've never done it just by myself. The time was right, I was by myself, I had about an hour drive ahead of me, so I've started. In short way to explain what is the first step of this deep listening and loving speech practice.. You have a chance to share your appreciation for the other person or yourself. So I've started recognizing, what am I doing, what I feel proud of (in a very loving and carrying way), what I've accomplished and how am I in daily life as a woman, mom and partner, daughter or sister. The more I was talking out loud, the better I felt. I also started saying, what am I grateful for. And I was also starting to see more and more beauty around me. What a blessing to be able to drive through such a wild nature, without anyone talking to me or wanting anything from me. I felt so nourished and happy, I couldn't believe it. The thing is, that I've been practicing BA for so many years, but I've never done it just by myself. I found such a difference, because realizing, that people still have certain perception of you, plus they don't necessarily know, what am I doing all the time. I know, because I am with myself 24/7. Plus there wasn't any need for being validated by anyone else, or appreciated. I just validated and appreciated myself so lovingly and without any expectations.
Without my previous practice, I might find it difficult. But I know now, that it has changed me in such a profound way and when I shared about it with my husband, we realized, that we can do it even together - tell each other, what are we appreciating about ourselves, not the other person. It is such a powerful practice, to say out loud, what you know and what do you appreciate about yourself. I definitely will keep practicing this at least every month now. And I surely would like to encourage you to try it yourself. It takes a practice, but I can assure you, that it can transform your life and the way you love yourself.

Hope this blog post will be helpful in any way to you.

Have a wonderful day and stay tuned for another posts!

Warmly,


Barbora

Bohemian style beauty portrait of Viktoria at Mission Trails

Mission Trails, San Diego

Last week, I've decided to give a present to a friend of mine Viktoria. She is mama to 4 beautiful children and she is taking pictures of them mainly. So I just wanted this present to be for her  and her kids as well. Because once they'll be big, they will ask her, where are her pictures, and she will be able to show them pictures I took of her. I believe, that everyone deserve beautiful portrait, that will stay in the family for generations.

We've been talking about it for a while, she did her "homework" and looked up some pictures that she really liked - outdoors.

Mission Trails, San Diego

I've seen some incredible pictures from the Mission Trails at the exit of Mast Blvd. Plus nature there looked very similar to those pictures she picked and showed me, how would she like to be photographed. Since I've never been there, I asked Viki, if we could meet there.

Mission Trails, San Diego

She didn't have a babysitting, so she brought her kids with her. Neither did I. We simply thought, that it will be ok, having the kids playing on the blanket or with the rocks. Her older kids (David is 10 and Dalia 8) are great helpers. So we kind of had an idea, that it will be all good.


Well.. it took us great deal of time to find the right place first. Plus in the heat, going to the location was little bit challenging, with 5 kids on our hands. But we managed to find really nice place and were setting up to capture some pictures. The problem was, that the youngest kids were pretty tired, there were some flies that wouldn't leave them alone (we didn't bring any insect repellent) and so they started crying at some point and wouldn't stop.
We had to stop and brestfeed, stop and calm them down. Well.. it was definitely the most challenging photoshoot up to this date I would say. But I'm still very happy with the result. We even managed to take some behind the scene pictures. Some of them was taken by Viktoria's son David and some of them I took for just the fun of it.

Mission Trails, San Diego

Mission Trails, San Diego

Mission Trails, San Diego

Capturing these precious moments that will become a family legacy for generations to come is both a great honor and a privilege. The natural beauty of my incredibly strong, loving and carrying friend Viktoria, her strength and vigilance inspires me every day.
I'm so grateful for our friendship and her love and care that she has given me over the years we've known each other. She is a family to me here in San Diego.

Mission Trails, San Diego

Mission Trails, San Diego

Mission Trails, San Diego

My hope is, that she will cherish those pictures for lifetime and her family too.

Have a wonderful day everyone and stay tuned for more posts!

Warmly,

Barbora

PS: You can check a slideshow with some behind scenes pictures bellow!

Wedding of Raiza and Ken at Steele Canyon Golf Club

Ken proposed to Raiza on their 8th anniversary in La Jolla above the cove. Very romantic place, that shows their romantic hearts and sweet devotion for each other. She likes his patience and being able to do compromises. They really like their sense of humor of each other. They are both very caring and sensitive people, working as nurses. 

The couple met at the library where both were studying individually for their college courses. Raiza needed help on one of her classes and asked Ken, who was tutoring according to her friends. He gladly accepted. They talked for hours and hours ranging from classes, hobbies, and life itself until the library closes. They found each other that day and the rest is history.

After almost 10 years of being together, they finally tied the knot and their greatest adventure is about to begin.
Ken has been rewarded as an employee of the year - among all the other coworkers that worked at the hospital longer, he's been working very hard and tirelessly. It shows his diligence and wonderful work ethic. They are both very sweet, thoughtful and very easy to talk to.

Raiza looked like a princess in her beautiful gown, that was custom made at Philippines and delivered just a week before she was getting married and Ken was so handsome in his dark blue suit.

Ceremony and reception took place at Steele Canyon Golf Club in Jamul and everyone had a blast. What a fun celebration of these two along their lovely family and friends and two cute dogies.

Have a wonderful day and stay tuned for another post!

Warmly,

Barbora

Making of V-Flats for my studio

Hello everyone, and welcome back to my blog. If this is a first time for you, you can check out some of the old post to see, what I've been up to lately.
And if you have seen my other posts, you know, that I've decided to go back to the basics and just

start doing fine art portraits for people, so I can share my gift with others. My whole family helped as they could ;-)

I got really inspired, when I was listening to the videos that Sue Bryces has on her website www.suebryceeducation.com
By the way, best decision in my life to invest in my education and learn new things. I believe, that you cannot be old enough to learn something new and I love educating myself about something, that I'm so passionate about. How to capture the beauty within everyone. I love to connect with people and mirror and capture their story, that shows in their eyes.

It wasn't all that easy, to create the V-Flats, that I would hope for. To be truthful, I almost felt like giving up at some point, because the black color was just pealing and would peal, even if I scratched it just by accident little tiny bit.
I started with the white. It was pretty easy, but I realized early enough, that I cannot do it in our apartment and I have to take it outside. I had to redo one whole board, because instead of painting on the unpainted side, I painted the black on the white painted side already.. Long story short. It took me two trips to Lowe's, because I just had to return the black paint, that wouldn't stop pealing. I bought another black paint, this time, it was the Charcoal black paint, that should be ok.

I also had to tape them together - the boards, that I bought at Lowe's are this: Lowes Insulation Board
So the total cost of the used material was about $90. And my hard labor. It wasn't easy to do it with Eli, but I did it and felt so accomplished and really proud of myself.

I have been using the V-Flats since I've made them several times and I love it. I hope, you'll have fun watching the Timelaps videos that I've captured about me doing the work. I hope, that they will last some time and I won't have to make new ones for some time though.

Have a wonderful day and stay tuned for the next post.

Warmly,

Barbora

What happens, when you disconnect your devices for few days..

What happens? You just are. No distraction, no constant "unreal" interactions and you are actually able to be fully present to here and now.

My husband and I are part of Wake up community for few years. Ever since I moved to US, I was part of the Plum Village tradition community. It's so loving and nurturing and challenging and supportive community, practicing mindfulness - teaching of Vietnamese Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh.

The Wake up community is primarily for young adults from 18-35 years of age. It's because once you have kids, your priority and value changes, naturally. But since we've been part of this awesome group for so many years, this might have been probably the last time, we could go and camp with the likeminded youngsters ;-) And enjoy the love, compassion and mindfulness together. As some of you may know, we've been founder and creators of the Wake up house in San Diego since 2013. Just recently, we moved out and have our own place, transitioning in a different face of our lives as parents.

First of, Big Sur, California is amazingly beautiful. What's even better there, there isn't reception. Which helped so much to just naturally disconnect from the virtual reality and to be simply present to our surroundings and people around us - face to face.
It was so refreshing, the sense of togetherness, love, community, care and true presence was so nurturing and amazing. I have no other words than that.
I would write super long article about it. So if you are interested, whats this all about, look up Wake up community, Plum Village tradition and you'll find out so much more information out there, so you can experience it for yourself.

Wonderfully organized event, that went so smoothly as you can ever imagine. At the end of the retreat, we sat together and shared our experiences, briefly.. When you have almost 70 people together, practicing mindfulness in everything you do, it's simply powerful experience. When we shared, what we had in our hearts, I've experienced very interesting insight. All of a sudden, I was thinking about some Native American tribes, living in this way, in the sense of togetherness, community, love care and compassion for each other, support and openness. I realized, that if we want to live in peace with ourselves and others, we have to come back to our true nature of goodness and love. Because when we are watering those seeds within ourselves and nurture it through and with others, only great outcome can sprout from that.

I definitely encourage everyone to disconnect from the technical devices once in a while and JUST  BE. It is so nurturing, refreshing and loving towards ourselves and others.

I feel so much gratitude for this beautiful Mother Earth that holds us and provides for us. We are really children of this Great Mother and when we feel that love and support, great things manifest and come to fruition.

Wonderfully spent Labor Weekend. How was your weekend? I wanna know. You can leave a comment if you feel compelled to!

Have a great week and stay tuned for more blog posts.

Warmly,

Barbora

What is a big "shift" in my career?.. Back to basics..

So.. a little back story to that first..
I had been taking portraits since I've started my photography business. It was always fun. I have also some decent knowledge of make up, so I could even do a make up for my clients (convenient but not very practical, because it's too much to do in one photo session).


But I always enjoyed working with people - one on one. And I was also interested in weddings, so I started shooting weddings too. I would say, it was never my passion. I love doing weddings and capture such a special day in people's life. The biggest part I love about wedding was usually the continuity working with the same people. First their engagement pictures, after that wedding, pregnancy pictures next, family pictures, some anniversaries.. The list goes on. I definitely enjoy the portraits the most, because it's time, when I can be creative, open up and let my clients to open too and hear their story, so I can capture it.

Since my son was born, I'm going through a huge transformation and transition and lately, I'm realizing, that I don't wanna be away from my family for so many hours and afterward spend so much time on my computer with the postproduction.

After Eli's first birthday celebration, Nick and I decided to do a special detox/cleanse by Dr. Robert Morse. He is amazing, if you wanna check him out, he has a channel on youtube and he is helping anyone who is willing to listen and do something about their health. I'm super passionate about it too.
I have to tell you, part of this shift/turn in my career is because of this detox. It's only raw vegan food diet. Without seeds and nuts. Only fruits, veggies and juices. We've been doing it for about 3 weeks and I felt amazing. The clarity of my mind is incredible and I'm really enjoying it so much. Also all the inspiration that is freely coming and I feel super motivated. Hands down, best detox that I've ever done. I can recommend it to anyone!

Ever since we moved into our own place in Normal Heights, San Diego, I'm feeling more and more on a right path in my life. I'm a healer. I love helping people to heal and see the beauty within. I always wanted to combine my life purpose - healing and helping with my photography business. And now I know how. I'm in love with glamour portraits.

I love working with women. I love empowering women and I love connecting with people. And I can do that through photography. It's such a wonderful gift to share my skills and healing with anyone, who would like to give themselves the chance to open their heart and see the beauty within through my eyes and heart.
I also realized, why I loved taking pictures of weddings so much (and I still do, but I'm not as passionate about it as I am about the fine art portraiture)... Because the bride is so nicely dressed up, with beautiful hair and make up, in a spectacular dress and she feels and looks like a princess. And that's what I want to capture - the happiness in the woman's eyes, when she feels special and beautiful. It's such an important reminder in every day life.

I believe, that we don't have to wait for a wedding day (not everybody wants to get married anyways) to look and feel like Goddesses. My team and I can help you capture your beauty any day on our mutually open schedule.

I also believe, that everyone needs and most of the time wants a good portrait of themselves. And I can do that for you.

The question is simple, how would you like to be photographed?

Have a wonderful day and stay tuned for more to come.

Warmly,

Barbora

Too tired to be a good mom...

Welcome back to my blog. I would like to share something that I've experienced yesterday. It might help ...or maybe you can just stop beating yourself up about feeling guilty, that you are not a good person or mom and you are failing.. Ready for this? Ok.

My son has been teething lately. It's been few days already. When it was the first day and second, I'm still calm and can take care of his needs and mine. Sleep deprivation is still manageable. Third day is getting worse and the 4th day, you are loosing your mind already. Like I have.. What to do? Well..

He wants my camera here..

I was trying to breath through it, I was trying to just give myself some space. But the more I was trying to get away from him and give myself some space, the more he was following me like a shadow and wouldn't let me even breath on my own. I was truly loosing it.
He wouldn't even fall asleep, until the third time I tried to put him down. Glued to my boob, that is becoming pretty sore from him sucking too hard, because he is teething.
The whole time of his sleep, he was glued to me, wouldn't let me go. I really needed some time for myself. Just to meditate. Even 5minutes would be great.

He finally lets go an hour and 15minutes after being glued to my boob. I sneak out of the room, hoping that I will finally have some time to decompress and meditate. When I come out of the bedroom, the kitchen is mess, the living room is a mess. So before sitting down for a short meditation, I have to clean up a little bit. I cannot relax in such a mess. I'm cleaning. The kitchen is pretty good in few minutes, so I start picking up some toys in the living room. Almost done, feeling like I can finally sit down and meditate. And in that moment, I hear his "slapping" hands against the floor, crawling out of the bedroom towards me. In that moment, I felt like in a horror scene, when you are totally exhausted, trying to get away from the monster and when you feel like you are safe and got away, the monster just creeps out behind your back and got you. I lost it. I felt like I will start crying..

I thought that he is hungry, which he was, so I put him in his seat and gave him food and started cleaning dishes. He wasn't happy and started being fussy about eating as well and wanted me to hold him. I couldn't. I lost it. Put him down and just left him there on the floor.

I closed myself in a bedroom and he was crying hysterically behind the closed door. I couldn't let him cry like that.. But as soon as I opened the door, he would hang on me... But when you are loosing it, the last think you wanna do is to hug them. You feel like it's their fault that you aren't feeling good and you want to get away from them.
I feel like it's a great metaphor with our emotions in general. The more we are trying to get away from them, the more they are "hunting" us.
I realized, that the only thing he wants is to be held. I picked him up and held him. Sat on the couch, holding him in my arms and felt tears coming down my cheek. He was holding me back. So happy, looked at me and holding me back. I felt peace finally. Looked at our picture in the kitchen that says BREATHE, IT'LL BE OK and also JOYFULLY TOGETHER. I realized, when I stop trying to get away from the big "monster" in my head, it disappeared.

I'm very grateful for this experience. I apologized to my son and myself and since that moment, our day has been peaceful and good. I'm so grateful for my hubby and his support and love.

What drives you crazy? Are you also loosing your mind sometimes? Let me know in the comments. And have yourself a wonderful day!

Warmly,

Barbora